Sunday, April 16, 2006

After An Accidental Act of Absenteeism, the BH quiz #57 Returns Just Like Jedi Do

How awfully remiss of me, (sorry I'm reading more Evelyn Waugh novels again ... I almost called you darlings and sweethearts ... feel lucky I didn't), I seem to have not done a quiz for Saturday.

Unfortunately I was working on a tight schedule, so tight in fact that it squeezed all the internet surfing time out, like a wet lemon popping out of my hands. I got up at 4pm, had a bath, then I had to get down to the seafront for a hummer-limousine ride to the Komedia in Brighton to help someone celebrate a landmark birthday. Having witnessed the amusing stylings of respectively a) an anti-chav Geordie (jokes about Croydon facelifts!) b) an anti-Irish Irishman (jokes about drunkeness and alcoholism!) and c) a Steve Wright non-sequitur man in some bright plaid jacket who was a bit of a shit Time Vine if truth be told, we returned to LA and broke the sun roof on the car. We were quite gone by then. I think we went to a pub. Then I seem to remember standing in the street and being insulted in the Bahar kebab shop by some hateful blonde girl.

Other things I have done or wondered about in the last two days.

Today I found I didn't have enough money for my Chinese takeaway delivery because get this - it was too fast. They said half an hour, but it comes in ten minutes preventing me from running to town quickly. And my siblings are always skint and useless. So we stood there for two minutes wondering what to do. Then a cheeky brainwave. I asked him: "Can you give me a lift to a cash machine?" He said sure. He was chatty this 50-something mullet-haired white Anglo-Saxon delivery driver. Very chatty. These are among the gems he came up with:

"The girl at the Chinese keeps on phoning me. She was so desperate for me to come in today. She really fancies me. My, she has a great figure"

"Don't want to deliver to Gloucester Road, My ex-wife lives there. Wouldn't want the old slag to see me working like this."

I couldn't make up dialogue like that. Fact thrashes fiction.

But before that I cut the wire to the doorbell and chucked it in the garden and stamped on it until it was dead, dead, dead. For three terrible, agonising years I have listened to its three-time whine and dreamt about the day when I would be crazy enough to vandalise it whilst fueled with a euphoric sense of vengeance. Yes, I was that crazy yesterday. I was positively off my cracked head. But the most annoying doorbell in the world is no more! Let silence rather than more bell-ringing fill the world. Of course, I have to buy another one before my mum hunts me down and chastises me with those powerful weapons she calls "loud words". Perhaps, it's made worse by the fact that I don't really live here.

And which punk bitch took my last slice of Key Lime Pie? I will hunt you down etc etc...

On another note
I am shocked that Will Self would write an article about the pros and cons of the internet for AOL. But then, when i think about it not really surprised. So addicted to the deadline and his name and seeing his picture in the paper he has splurged a mighty amount of words on the page. Is he trying to get through to AOL's notoriously notorious audience of users (look if I said bigoted and racist and White Van Man-like it would feel true, but it probably wouldn't be correct; I'm making a conclusion based on an internet poll about asylum seekers that I saw five years ago in which some comments made Adolf Hitler look as left wing as Arthur Scargill).

It is certainly the first time that the word "gossamer" has been used as an adjective in an article for AOL, and it makes a change from the usual articles about the changing colour of Kerry Katona's hair. And look he writes too much. He admits it in an interview he did over the email with Rick Moody in which he confessed he was so afraid of being influenced by contemporary novels that he only reads "facty" books. He's a writing machine and a byline whore. He can't stop. It's like me with quiz questions. There: a fatuous comparison! Hurrah!

God, I wish I was Will Self, who is obviously a patently superior being to 99.999 per cent of humanity. Then I would have 12 more years of heroin addiction to look forward to, before settling into a period beset by a terrifyingly prolific national press focused workload and intelligent, satirical novels coming out of my rectum, kids, wife and the odd TV appearance in which I would baffle the entire country with my esoteric and squiffy-eyed genius. You see? Hard drugs can be a gateway to magnificence.

There was a larger, more resonant point that I was going to bring out, but thoughts about the battle between fiction and fact in my heart of hearts will come another day.

Enough of the freestyle ponderations and ramblifications. It's quizzy time...

1 Appointed to the position of Minister for Labour and National Service in 1940, who said: "They say Gladstone was at the Treasury from 1860 until 1930. I'm going to be at the Ministry of Labour from 1940 until 1990"? (He died in 1951)
2 Who is the current general secretary of the Transport and General Workers' Union?
3 What place is mentioned in the full title of the novel David Copperfield?
4 Tolstoy ranked what chapter of David Copperfield, no. 55, LV, the standard by which all the world's great fiction should be judged?
5 An actual mansion in Rochester, what is the forbidding and decaying home of Miss Havisham in Great Expectations?
6 Used in the Islamic tradition to refer to those claiming descent from Muhammad through Hasan, son of his daughter Fatimia Zahra and son-in-law Ali, what is the traditional Arab tribal title given to those who serve as the protector of the tribe and all its assets?
7 Howard R Hughes, father of the more famous Howard, made his fortune from the invention of what device which allowed rotary drilling for oil in previously inaccessible places?
8 Which duo wrote the original newspaper play The Front Page?
9 Agree Gray may have been the actual inventor of what?
10 Also called the Italian War or the Marsic War, what war was fought between the Roman Republic and the other cities in Italy from 91-88BC?
11 Which American screen star had three husbands: NFL quarterback Bob Waterfield, actor Roger Barrett, who died less than three months after they married in 1968, and real-estate broker John Calvin Peoples?
12 Which acting knight's last film appearance was as the sixth Earl of Greystoke in the 1983 movie Greystoke - The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes?
13 The actor David Graf, who died in 2001 of a heart attack eight days before his 51st birthday (his father and grandfather had also died of heart attacks aged 51), was best known for what role in a series of comedy films?
14 The Spanish culinary speciality cecina is made of what?
15 Made by stirring chickpea flour into a mixture of water and olive oil to form a loose batter before baking, what thin, crisp, pizza-like pancake from Liguria is similar to the socca from Nice?
16 The dogfish is what kind of fish?
17 What is another name for Rock Salmon, which is sold as Fish and chips?
18 Born in 1930 with the surname LoVecchio, which singer recorded his last song to date, Taps/My Buddy, after the 9/11 terrorist attacks and dedicated it to the New York City Fire Fighters?
19 Given the scientific name Nannophya pygmaea, the Scarlet Dwarf is the smallest of which species of insect with a wingspan of only 20mm?
20 Taking his pseudonym from an anagrame of the Romanian spelling of his surname, which poet sent his poem Todtnauberg to Nazi sympathiser Martin Heidegger in the first copy of a limited bibliophile edition and whose most famous poem, Todesfugue (Death Fugue), commemorates the WW2 death camps?
21 Which German thinker and composer is famed for the caveat that "writing poetry after Auschwitz is barbaric"?
22 Seen as his farewell to bebop, what 1960 record was John Coltrane's first album for the Atlantic label and features the jazz standards Naima, Cousin Mary, Countdown and Mr P.C.?
23 Which jazz tenor saxophone player's most widely acclaimed album was Saxophone Colossus, recorded in June 1956, and his best known song may be St Thomas, a Caribbean calypso sung to him by his mother when he was a child?
24 Ariston and Perictione were the father and mother of which philsopher, whose given name was Aristocles but was given a name meaning "broad" by his wrestling coach, Ariston of Argos due to his robust figure?
25 Castle Cornet is a large castle on which Channel Island?
26 What famous duchy was created by the treaty of Saint-Clair-sur-Epte in 911 out of concessions made by King Charles?
27 Linking the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans in the south, the first recorded voyage through what 400-mile body of water was made by the Eendracht, a ship captained by Willem Schouten, in 1616?
28 Which author died in 1894 of a burst blood vessel in the brain, six hours after he had strained to open a bottle of wine and suddenly exclaimed that his face had changed appearance?
29 What was the Cornish village of Tintagel known as until the 1850s when it was renamed to promote tourism on the back of the King Arthur legends?
30 Saad Zaghlul was a popular revolutionary who later served as which country's prime minister during 1924?
31 Moreton Bay is a large bay 19km from which Australian city?
32 Deriving its name from an Early Modern English adjective meaning "fasting" or "hungry", what is the central of thr three divisions of the small intestine?
33 First used by Bulgarians during the Siege of Adrianople in March 1913, what military tactic sees massed artillery support an infantry advance by firing continuously at positions just in front of the advancing troops?
34 Which Edinburgh-born actress played DS Mel Silver in the BBC series Waking the Dead?
35 The location for the premiere of Rossini's The Barber of Seville in 1816, what opera house and one of the oldest theatres in Rome was commissioned by the Sforza Cesarini family and inaugurated on January 31, 1732 with Domenico Sarro's Berenice?
36 Who was the father of Cleopatra (VII of Egypt)?
37 Which eunuch and Egyptian regent had Pompey decapitated and presented his severed head to Julius Caesar, the result of which saw him executed?
38 The 540 kick is a move in which Asian martial art?
39 Known as a "worked" or on extremely rare occasions a "shoot", what term is used in professional wrestling to describe what happens when a match ends in controversy, often involving "cheating" by the nominal victor?
40 Who wrestled his first professional match in Tallahassee on August 19, 1977 as The Super Destroyer, wrestling B Brian Blair to a draw?
41 Built in 1888, the Chaine Memorial Tower is a memorial to James Chaine, the former MP who developed which Co. Antrim town's short sea route to Scotland and established as a transatlantic port?
42 The Forest of the Departed is a monument made up of 192 olive trees or cypresses, one for each person killed in which terrorist atrocity?
43 Named from a chapter in Isaiah that mentions "A memorial and a name", what is Israel's official memorial to the Jewish victims of the Holocaust established in 1953 through the Memorial Law?
44 The Norman Cross roundabout is located near which cathedral city?
45 In 1949 the priest Father Ermelindo Vigano proposed to declare Madonna del Ghisallo the patroness of which sportsmen?
46 Designed by Sir Norman Foster, what marble and glass memorial was unveiled by the Queen on April 26, 2005 opposite the NE corner of St James's Park, where The Mall and Horse Guards Road meet?
47 In which battle did the explorer Ferdinand Magellan die in 1521?
48 The Soviet authorities built the memorial complex Mamayev Kurgan and the Yevgeny Vuchetich-designed statue Rodina Mat Zovyot (The Motherland Calls!) between 1959 and 1967 on a dominant height overlooking which modern day city?
49 Also called 1/f noise, what colour describes a signal or process with a frequency spectrum such that the power spectral density is proportional to the reciprocal of the frequency?
50 Currently married to musician Dave Navarro, which former Baywatch star was born Tara Leigh Patrick?
51 What kind of missile is an HARM?
52 Which cartoon character is the owner of The Big Bin, a structure filled with his money, located on Killmotor Hill?
53 The Jewish laws of Shechita govern what act?
54 Which company has three blimps in its fleet, among them The Spirit of America and Stars & Stripes?
55 Which two saints give their name to the 12 tiny volcanic rock islands situated in the south Atlantic Ocean about 950km NE of the Brazilian city of Natal?
56 Home to the famous Bishop's palace, the landmark of Cerro del Obispado is in which Mexican city?
57 What vascular layer of the eye lies between the retina and the sclera?
58 Regarded as a type of Sect Shinto, what religion was founded on November 15, 1859 by Bunjiro Kawate and worships God under the name of Tenchi Kane No Kami, or the Golden God of Heaven and Earth?
59 Born in 1961 in Taiwan, Chien-Chi Chang is renowned in which field of the arts?
60 The writers Sergio Frusoni, Manuel Lopes and Ovidio Martins come from which country?
61 Which English impresario, born in Dudley in 1889. worked as music director in Paramount Pictures' cinemas in the US and composed the songs Tears, You and I, and Don't Sing Aloha When I Go?
62 Jimmy Greaves scored on his debut playing for which club in 1957?
63 Which team were the first winners of the newly renamed UEFA Cup in 1971?
64 What football team are the only team to have retained the UEFA Cup, doing so in 1984/5 and 1985/6?
65 Which German team came 12th in their domestic league in 1996/7 but salvaged their season by winning the UEFA Cup that year?
66 Which resort in Argyll and Bute is home to the Cathedral of St Columba, Dunollie and Dunstaffnage Castles, and McCaig's Tower which dominates the town's skyline?
67 What term for a type of sale sale of a corporation's common shares is abbreviated IPO?
68 Larry Scott was the first person to hold what title in 1965?
69 The University of South California dropout Jim Jannard founded which eyewear company that he named after his dog?
70 Considered by many to be the "Rolls Royce" of private and corporate jets, what Aerospace Corporation is located in Savannah, Georgia?
71 Which of the fully functional Space Shuttle Oribiters was the fourth to be launched in April 1985?
72 The youngest at 14 years old, what is the fifth and final operational NASA space shuttle to be built and is often called "the baby of the shuttle fleet"?
73 What global communications company, based in the Chicago suburb of Schaumburg, was started in 1928 as Galvin Manufacturing Corporation; its modern name being invented by founder Paul Galvin when his company started making car radios?
74 What is the largest member of the oceanic dolphin family and since it is found in all the world's oceans, the second-most widely distributed mammal on Earth after humans?
75 Acquired by Leyland Motors in 1951, what automobile and commercial vehicles manufacturer was founded by Thomas Blackwood Murray and Norman Osborne Fulton in 1899 and is Scotland's best known name in the motor industry?

Answers to BH quiz #56
1 Craigavon 2 George W Trendle 3 Karl May 4 Wallsend, Tyne and Wear 5 John Brown & Company 6 Samuel Hood (HMS Hood) 7 Barrow-in-Furness 8 Aircraft carrier 9 Tirpitz 10 HMS Vanguard 11 HMY Mary 12 Ocean Terminal 13 USS Sequoia 14 Spain 15 Titan Crane 16 Puyi, last emperor of the Qing dynasty 17 Hegumen 18 Solovetsky Islands 19 Church of England's General Synod 20 Single Transferable Vote (STV) 21 Malta 22 Hot air balloons (The Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta) 23 Shawm 24 Amnesty International 25 RR Duke 26 Russo-Turkish War 27 Windsurfing 28 Cumbria Coastal Way 29 Barrow 30 Bill Haley 31 Tunnel rats 32 Semi-automatic pistol 33 The Reliance Building 34 Oder 35 New Zealand 36 Test pilot 37 Malta 38 Indonesia 39 Oak twig 40 Trombone 41 V-disc 42 Assam 43 Johann Gottlieb Fichte 44 Noumenon (pl. noumena) 45 Eleatics 46 Matthew's Bible 47 Paolo Uccello 48 Sailor Moon 49 Mikhail Glinka 50 Henry IV of France 51 Treaty of Bretigny 52 Charles V 53 Francois Henri Louis Marie, Comte de Clermont 54 USSR, Canada 55 Table grapes 56 Concord grape 57 Louisa May Alcott in Concord, Massachusetts 58 Pic du Midi or Pic du Midi de Bigorre 59 Cheticamp 60 Hofburg Imperial Palace 61 Schonbrunn Palace 62 Brno 63 Hagia Sophia 64 The Kidron Valley 65 Apollodorus of Damascus 66 Oscar the Grouch 67 Sydney Harbour Bridge 68 Leon Rupnik as in The Rupnik Line 69 Battalion 70 Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers

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