Notes on Bullseye: The Bowen-Less Reprise
Tonight I caught the last eight minutes of New Bullseye, with Dave Spikey. Just enough time to criticise it with extreme prejudice.
My ill-informed verdict? Well, it's a bit, er, samey? I'm not sure. To meh or not to meh? Tony's hair has gone the way of the silver fox, but the set looks pretty much the same, except for the mystery prize curtain being replaced by a space-age retractable wall.
Dave Spikey has the right kind of attitude, but he looks a bit ill at ease reading from the autocue. It was like he was *reader takes deep intake of breath* ACTING, and so it came across as a bit laboured.
For easy comparison, I watched part of an old episode earlier in the night. Jim Bowen was a very good host, he could be funny in a nicely dry way, because let's face it: darts and quiz aren't the most weightiest of material and when combined can make for comedic fried gold. But Bowen did it for years and Spikey's only been doing it for a few episodes, so let's give him the benefit of the doubt, and wait a couple of weeks before we start sending him bullets in the post (the note would say: "Watch out Spikey, I'm aiming for YOUR bullseye and your left eye and your right eye.")
One thing about it being on Challenge TV is that inflation has certainly not affected the amount of cash you can win. Tonight's victorious duo took home £385, which is what they would have won 15 years ago. And the prizes? They were all a bit rubbish. The star prize was some DIY kit - yawn.
I mean, are the audience supposed to laugh like complete goons every time an item from the prizeboard was delineated by our host? Because it certainly wasn't Dave Spikey's alliterative descriptions of the trouser press and the remote control Monster Truck. It was because they were tat.
The special prize was also a bit rubbish: it was a hot-tub. And, no, the bathing blonde bimbettes (apparently they took style tips from Chantelle Houghton, but nowadays every girl of certain age seems to) and young hunk (wouldn't have happened in the old days, bloody equality) did not come with it. Now that would be a prize worth winning: a trio of slaves of good working age.
In one of those apt comic game show moment, one of the contestants said he lived in a block of flats, and you could just feel Dave Spikey was dying to tell him, this is Bullseye on Challenge TV, your prizes are meant to be useless and highly unsuitable or fantastic fun for about five minutes (MONSTER TRUCK! Woo-hoo!). So be on your way you cheeky get and enjoy those five minutes of remote control fun.
What must Bowen feel watching such a little-changed show from home? If it's going to be like it always was, they might as well have brought him back. Bullseye looks and feels cheap and is therefore dated. The only difference between then and now is that the audience have got far better and shorter haircuts.
Yet there are things that never fail to amuse. The girly throwing of the non-darts player is the kind of pleasure that never gets boring. Have some dignity lads, practice with a strong arm and do not try and shot put your arrows, you silly sods.
Also don't forget to go online at the Challenge TV website and win "great prizes", which translated from the language of Bullseye probably means some pencils and a wonky lampshade.
N.B. I'm not at all bitter that the programme makers didn't even give me and Ollie an audition. I watched the show as a quiz show fan, not like some loon who kept on wildly shouting at the TV whilst waving a machete and swearing vengeance upon the production company. Though I probably would have done the latter a few weeks ago. Thank God and hallelujah for the healing properties of time.
My ill-informed verdict? Well, it's a bit, er, samey? I'm not sure. To meh or not to meh? Tony's hair has gone the way of the silver fox, but the set looks pretty much the same, except for the mystery prize curtain being replaced by a space-age retractable wall.
Dave Spikey has the right kind of attitude, but he looks a bit ill at ease reading from the autocue. It was like he was *reader takes deep intake of breath* ACTING, and so it came across as a bit laboured.
For easy comparison, I watched part of an old episode earlier in the night. Jim Bowen was a very good host, he could be funny in a nicely dry way, because let's face it: darts and quiz aren't the most weightiest of material and when combined can make for comedic fried gold. But Bowen did it for years and Spikey's only been doing it for a few episodes, so let's give him the benefit of the doubt, and wait a couple of weeks before we start sending him bullets in the post (the note would say: "Watch out Spikey, I'm aiming for YOUR bullseye and your left eye and your right eye.")
One thing about it being on Challenge TV is that inflation has certainly not affected the amount of cash you can win. Tonight's victorious duo took home £385, which is what they would have won 15 years ago. And the prizes? They were all a bit rubbish. The star prize was some DIY kit - yawn.
I mean, are the audience supposed to laugh like complete goons every time an item from the prizeboard was delineated by our host? Because it certainly wasn't Dave Spikey's alliterative descriptions of the trouser press and the remote control Monster Truck. It was because they were tat.
The special prize was also a bit rubbish: it was a hot-tub. And, no, the bathing blonde bimbettes (apparently they took style tips from Chantelle Houghton, but nowadays every girl of certain age seems to) and young hunk (wouldn't have happened in the old days, bloody equality) did not come with it. Now that would be a prize worth winning: a trio of slaves of good working age.
In one of those apt comic game show moment, one of the contestants said he lived in a block of flats, and you could just feel Dave Spikey was dying to tell him, this is Bullseye on Challenge TV, your prizes are meant to be useless and highly unsuitable or fantastic fun for about five minutes (MONSTER TRUCK! Woo-hoo!). So be on your way you cheeky get and enjoy those five minutes of remote control fun.
What must Bowen feel watching such a little-changed show from home? If it's going to be like it always was, they might as well have brought him back. Bullseye looks and feels cheap and is therefore dated. The only difference between then and now is that the audience have got far better and shorter haircuts.
Yet there are things that never fail to amuse. The girly throwing of the non-darts player is the kind of pleasure that never gets boring. Have some dignity lads, practice with a strong arm and do not try and shot put your arrows, you silly sods.
Also don't forget to go online at the Challenge TV website and win "great prizes", which translated from the language of Bullseye probably means some pencils and a wonky lampshade.
N.B. I'm not at all bitter that the programme makers didn't even give me and Ollie an audition. I watched the show as a quiz show fan, not like some loon who kept on wildly shouting at the TV whilst waving a machete and swearing vengeance upon the production company. Though I probably would have done the latter a few weeks ago. Thank God and hallelujah for the healing properties of time.
posted by That Quiz Guy at 5:16 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home