Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Brief Encounter

People I Have Never Met Before

A complete stranger says to me as he gets off the train at Goring-on-Sea today, having said absolutely nothing to me all journey long...
"I really didn't like your quiz in The Times today"
I reply: "Er, ok. Thanks"
"I didn't do well at all"
I stifle to urge to say: you're a bit rubbish aren't you just like everyone says they do badly at my quiz, though that's me, admittedly, being spontaneously cruel. The 'state of the quiz score' has become THE opening gambit employed by numerous people I don't know making conversation with me. But when they say they got a score like three, I wonder what's wrong with me; whether my powers have weakened. There is no middle ground. Perhaps, a score of 2.5 would be acceptable to me. Nothing more, nothing less. Instead, I continue with the light-hearted tone of the conversation ...
"So how much did you get?"
"I got one today and one yesterday. Nope, I didn't like it at all"

And with that he was gone. Forever.

Mind you it was better than one encounter I had last Saturday as I was walking down the road.

This fella sitting in a van along with his similarly JJB Sports-attired mate asks me: "Oi bruv, can you open the door at the back for my mate?"

It seems they weren't intelligent enough to operate the handle. I open the door.

The guy who was previously locked up says: "Cheers, mate ... Me love you long time"

I shout: "F*** OFF!!!" Out of earshot, naturally. I ain't no street fighting man. And maybe I shouldn't have gone out dressed like a Vietnamese prostitute. Hmmm. (I then went home to find the front door lock was busted so I had to get a locksmith. It cost me £125! Which made me practically incandescent with rage, scarlet red in the face and boiling, boiling so.)

1 What three-word term was coined by Sir Walter Scott and H. E. Marshall to describe the Anglo-Scottish War pursued intermittently from 1544 to 1551?
2a) Commonly used in Chinese cuisine and with a name that literally means "yellow wine" or "yellow liquor", Shaoxing wine is a variety of which Chinese alcoholic beverage that is brewed directly from grains such as rice, millet, or wheat and, unlike baijiu, is not distilled, and contains less than 20% alcohol due to the inhibition of fermentation by ethanol at that concentration?
2b) A cheap alcoholic liquor derived from sugar cane that is similar to rum, which drink is typically associated with the state of Michoacan in Mexico, in particular the Tarascan populated areas in the vicinity of Uruapan and has a buttery sweet flavour similar to vanilla and is delicious neat at room temperature?
3 Rob Reger and his company Cosmic Debris Etc. Inc. are creators of which fictional counterculture character, a a 13-year-old girl - birthday September 23 - of exceptionally pale complexion and jet black hair, as well as a black dress and black tights, set off by large white Mary Jane shoes?
4 Which male first name is derived from the Greek for "victory of the people"?
5 In Malaysia, a small number of Eurasians of mixed Portuguese and Malay descent, speak which Portuguese-based creole?


Answers to FE:XIX
1 "The Rough Wooing" 2a) Huangjiu 2b) Charanda 3 Emily Strange or Emily the Strange 4 Nicholas 5 Papi√° Kristang


Blogger LB said...

ooooh, I got two today! (being called Nicholas clearly helps.....!)

4:46 AM  

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