On Being Completely Rubbish
I did intend to partake in the trivia contests and tasty drumsticks of the National Team Quiz Festival. But saying and wishing are not the same as doing. I could say I am the next President of the United States, but doing it is impossible. The same applies to me getting an early morning train. Kinda.
At 9pm last night I was thinking I'll do this part-time job application before midnight and I'll get some shut-eye and be on the 8.15 London train. Only the job app took me till eight - yes, eight sodding hours - to finish (it was agony and hell, and I agonised like hell over every little word and apostrophe, and why I did I do not know: I'm not even sure I have much chance of getting it) and so, being slightly optimistic, I thought I could get two and a half hours' sleep. Then I would burst out of body like a Tomahawk missile and find my way to London like a very badly programmed Tomahawk missile.
Of course, I woke up at 2.25pm. Not only had I missed the train by hours and therefore the Quiz Rally, which I was really looking forward to, I also appeared to have bitten my tongue during the very deep sleep. Well, that'll learn me for only getting three hours sleep the previous night. You see I never make it easy for myself. Never ever.
Then I thought: ooh football and basically read the papers and watched all of today's three matches. I love the World Cup it cures all ills. It would cure cancer and AIDS if it went on for long enough: say about six months.
So yeah, this is a laboured way of saying I'm crap and lazy to myself and having you sit in and watch. Did you enjoy it? Thought not. Shouldn't have inserted the serious disease jokes. Hey I got one: what did the deaf, dumb and blind kid get for Christmas...
PS Ian Wright is an absolute moron. I could only horsewhip him with words this afternoon, but if he was standing to my right at this very moment, as if teleported by magic to this living room, I would horsewhip him with a real horse-whip really really hard. The dude is an idiot, who claims passion is or was his fuel. Well, Wrighty, passion didn't get you much international success, did it? Admittedly you scored a lot of goals against San Marino, but still you can SHUT IT. This fool is the person who said he would rather have England in the "wilderness" than have them win a World Cup with a foreign manager. So going by that screwy logic he would rather not have England win the World Cup in Germany. What a dick.
At 9pm last night I was thinking I'll do this part-time job application before midnight and I'll get some shut-eye and be on the 8.15 London train. Only the job app took me till eight - yes, eight sodding hours - to finish (it was agony and hell, and I agonised like hell over every little word and apostrophe, and why I did I do not know: I'm not even sure I have much chance of getting it) and so, being slightly optimistic, I thought I could get two and a half hours' sleep. Then I would burst out of body like a Tomahawk missile and find my way to London like a very badly programmed Tomahawk missile.
Of course, I woke up at 2.25pm. Not only had I missed the train by hours and therefore the Quiz Rally, which I was really looking forward to, I also appeared to have bitten my tongue during the very deep sleep. Well, that'll learn me for only getting three hours sleep the previous night. You see I never make it easy for myself. Never ever.
Then I thought: ooh football and basically read the papers and watched all of today's three matches. I love the World Cup it cures all ills. It would cure cancer and AIDS if it went on for long enough: say about six months.
So yeah, this is a laboured way of saying I'm crap and lazy to myself and having you sit in and watch. Did you enjoy it? Thought not. Shouldn't have inserted the serious disease jokes. Hey I got one: what did the deaf, dumb and blind kid get for Christmas...
PS Ian Wright is an absolute moron. I could only horsewhip him with words this afternoon, but if he was standing to my right at this very moment, as if teleported by magic to this living room, I would horsewhip him with a real horse-whip really really hard. The dude is an idiot, who claims passion is or was his fuel. Well, Wrighty, passion didn't get you much international success, did it? Admittedly you scored a lot of goals against San Marino, but still you can SHUT IT. This fool is the person who said he would rather have England in the "wilderness" than have them win a World Cup with a foreign manager. So going by that screwy logic he would rather not have England win the World Cup in Germany. What a dick.
posted by That Quiz Guy at 5:24 PM
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