If you don't do The Colossus...

... you might as well eat this delightful BBQ chicken wing from the KFC by the red light district on the Rue St Denis

Yes, that is blood. Squidgy, wet, icky blood. It squirted out when I bit into a "Wingdinger", which must be French for "Uncooked and bloody terrifying murder."

I didn't complain about potential death by salmonella because it was a bad enough ordeal merely saying "Un Menu Filet avec Pepsi, s'il vous plait". Sometimes the language barrier is truly unassailable. Even when your health is in serious danger.

So I took that photo. Just for you.

A taste of the horror I'm sure you will appreciate. (Don't worry, I'll put up pictures of buckets filled with kittens up soon; live, cute and purring ones that is. Not skinned and dead kitties).

It is nearly here
The Colossus has been tweaked to within one inch of its life and needs one or two tiny adjustments like an intricate greased engine before it is fully promoted (you ain't seen nothing yet) and sent out to all competitors.

For those of you who want more explanation, it is a 501-question quiz to be done in three hours (three and a half for people who don't have English as their first language) without any help whatsoever: no internet, no encyclopedias etc.

By the way, anyone who looks anything up deserves to have their toes twisted off with large, rusty pliers.

You can email thecolossusquiz@gmail.com to register your interest. I will eventually send you the quiz and you get about a month to do it and then return it via email or snail mail. I'm not sure when the deadline for entries will be, but you can certainly tell me you're interested RIGHT NOW.

NB Unlike The Monster Quiz this has not been set for a British audience but an international one. Therefore, there are no questions about the dreaded British soaps. (Yes, I was frightened by Crossroads too.)

The Test Subjects' Response
I have had three testers. This is what they said:

Steven De Ceuster, Founder and President of the Flemish Quiz Ranking, IQA Director Western Europe: "It is excellent"

Ken Jennings, Jeopardy all-time money winner: "Great quiz!"

Pat Gibson, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire million winner and reigning Mastermind champion: "Very, very good"

And they should know what they are talking about. Eh? EH?

If you have already emailed me
To all those who have already expressed interest and emailed themonsterquiz@gmail.com or thecolossusquiz@gmail.com, don't worry if I haven't acknowledged you by sending back an email. I'll get around to it when I come back from Edinburgh on Thursday (more on that later).

The Best of Me
If you don't do it I will be a mite disappointed (get out the hankies!). This is because I'm a little bit proud of it. It may even be my Dream of Gerontius. In quiz terms. It is markedly different to the BH quizzes, so don't be scared off by all the questions that litter this blog. They are not at all representative.

You know I always set for appropriate audiences. Unlike the BH questions, which are aimed solely at me, The Colossus questions are designed to please most quizzers and trivia-bods, or at least illuminate what was once obscured and murky.

It is far better than that rubbish British-biased Monster Quiz (Or perhaps I just got sick of looking at the same answer-sheet a hundred times). All those errors. I am shaking my head in remembrance.

Yet the MQ is the past. The Colossus Quiz is the big, bright future. Why not give it a hug?

Remember: thecolossusquiz@gmail.com