Wednesday, November 08, 2006

President's Cup Crash Bang Wallop

The Quizzerdammerung: Cambridge 40-29 Sussex



"I'm always getting slammed on this blog." Yeah, but you love the mentions and attention. You big whiny Cambridge-loving bihatch.

In short: last night we won, beating Allsorts 52-40. Let's dance a victory jig and drink fine champagne.

But first, a story of such bloodcurdling regret and mind-numbing tragedy that it makes previous bloody disasters look like a joyful summer picnic in the park with the Care Bears and a wide variety of beautiful Italian cold cuts.

We got hammered thanks to two atrocious bad rounds. Let's not mention the imbalance in scores. Cambridge performed well, and we were very mediocre. Indeed, it was a lovely return for Brewis and Stainer, who had replaced the usual troupe of Kathryn and Nic. Though they did score more than Peter and I. We made a few boo-boos; me more than the others. I said that Somerset Maugham wrote the play The Devil's Dilemma and I couldn't even muster an umpire Billy Doctrove. I didn't even say anything when I should have yielded the constellation name "Lepus". I only got two of my own questions. Fetch the maudlin violin player to soundtrack this tale of woe.

Frankly, I hadn't recovered from just eating a Chicken Royale with Cheese on Saturday. I was still feeling a bit wayward, a bit shattered. I've realised that Sunday afternoons are probably the worst time to do quizzes because of my built-in need to have a lie in and therefore doing a quiz just an hour after rising isn't the greatest notion to have ever cropped up in my disintegrating mind. I need a bit of a warm-up (and it showed; I did much better in the friendlies). My optimum time is the dark evening. Maybe it is because of some latent lycanthropism. In trivia-retrieval sense.

But, setting aside those black marks on my own character and physical well-being, the usual outer problems arose yet again. I have written about them before in exasperated detail. Oh yes, the same familiar steadfast subjects of, for example, breweries, whisky, bird families and WW2 bombers. Those hardy blighters that absolutely no one under the age of 35 is interested in (except for Jesse, but he was probably born 25-years-old). I mean, at number four I got a beer and a whisky question. Obviously the setter likes a bit of a tipple but this was ridiculous. Two alcoholic drinks questions to the same person? Whatcha doing? Sort it aht. And when I said "Talisker" for my answer, it later revealed itself as the correct answer on the other side of the pair. Straight in Cambridge's lap. Which Mr Honey got right. Gah.

Therefore, action must be taken. Of a cunning kind. I am already planning my revenge. Or as the Peep Show boys would say: Ree-wen-gay.

We have to write one in return for the mirroring President's Cup. Oh, I'll write one in return. It will be paid in kind. This deep anguish will be reciprocated. You think that quizzes should be about airplanes, breweries and birds? I'll show you what I think should be in normal quizzes, but are never considered by setters as suitable material (though they should be): modern art, graphic novelists, modern fashion companies, Web 2.0 websites, foreign films, American basketball, hard science, 20th century philosophy; the list goes on and on. You think these questions can't be asked in a quiz. Wait and see, as Asquith didn't actually say.

I'll give the set the shock of the new. Cackle-cackle. Man, I'm working myself into a fiesta of nutty screaming madness about the questions I will unleash. For they will make buffoons of once sane, traditional quizzers. I'm laughing maniacally just thinking about it. And at least, you have been warned. Gird your loins and other vulnerable parts.

So there. I don't blame Jesse for his usual scoundrel antics. Well, just a teensy bit. He did get the highest score - 15.

(Disclaimer: I'm only half-joking and I'm far from angry. In fact, I'm quite sanguine and this is all crude hyperbole. But you know, I am mildly annoyed. We should be covering a more diverse array of quiz subjects, and not pay lip service to conventional setting though. This conservatism needs to be tackled. With a baseball bat embedded with nine inch nails)

The Friendly
Actually, I was feeling so defunct in the brain department last afternoon that I forgot to write a round six in the friendly. I shocked myself when I came to the offending vacuity, double and triple-taking as I went. So instead Jesse filled in a last round with his green file. The score was 30-25 after seven rounds, which ain't that bad. And at least I wrote a match.

Unanswered questions by either side are marked *

President's Cup friendly 5/11/06

Round 1
1a Which 1940 Graham Greene novel tells the story of a nameless "whisky priest" living in the Mexican state of Tabasco in the 1930s?
THE POWER AND THE GLORY
1b The Cold War revolutionary Daniel Ortega is set to become the president of which country again?
NICARAGUA
2a The Sultan Mizan Zainal Abidin has been elected as the next Yang di-Pertuan Agong, or head of state, of which country?
MALAYSIA
2b Which Benjamin Britten opera features the characters of the Roman general Collatinus, prince Tarquinius and the old nurse Bianca?*
THE RAPE OF LUCRETIA
3a Who is famously taken to live at 32 Windsor Gardens?
PADDINGTON BEAR
3b Which 1966 Graham Greene novel depicts life in Haiti under the rule of Francis "Papa Doc" Duvalier and his secret police, the Tonton Macoutes?*
THE COMEDIANS
4a Written as a companion piece for The Rape of Lucretia, which comic chamber opera by Benjamin Britten was based on Guy de Maupassant's story Le Rosier de Madama Husson?
ALBERT HERRING
4b Which couple famously live at 62 West Wallaby Street?*
WALLACE & GROMIT

Round 2
1a On a flower, which part of the carpel is usually the terminal end portion that has no epidermis and is fitted to receive pollen?
STIGMA
1b Known to the Romans as "Promontorium Magnum", which cape forms the westernmost point of mainland Portugal?*
CABO DA ROCA
2a What term describes the point at which an object, such as the Moon, in orbit around the Earth makes its closest approach to the Earth?
PERIGEE
2b On a flower, which part of the carpel is a stalk connecting the stigma with the ovary below containing the transmitting tract that facilitates the movement of the male gametes to the ovule?
STYLE
3a The cliffs of which cape, located on the Cote d'Opale in the Pas-de-Calais departement, are the closest point of France to England?
CAPE GRIS NEZ
3b Which bridge in Norfolk collapsed on May 2, 1845 and caused 79 people to drown because the overloaded suspension chains collapsed?*
YARMOUTH BRIDGE
4a The worst ever peacetime railway crash, a double collision involving three trains took place on October 8, 1952 and killed 112 people at which station in London Underground Zone five?
HARROW AND WEALDSTONE
4b In astronomy, what term describes the point in the orbit of a planet or a comet at which it is farthest from the Sun?
APHELION

Round 3
1a At which English theme park will you find rollercoasters called Vampire, Runaway Train, Dragons Fury and Rattlesnake?
CHESSINGTON WORLD OF ADVENTURES
1b The subject of the Virgil Thomson opera The Mother of Us All, which suffragette voted in the US presidential election for the first time on November 5, 1872 and was fined $100 for her participation?
SUSAN B ANTHONY
2a Famed for his long running feud with Edward de Vere the 17th Earl of Oxford, which baron is credited with arresting Guy Fawkes and foiling Robert Catesby's Gunpowder Plot on November 5 in 1605?*
THOMAS KNYVET
2b Chart-toppers in 1977, which New York City group included the members Tim Hauser, Laurel Masse, Alan Paul and Janis Siegel?
THE MANHATTAN TRANSFER (Chanson d'Amour)
3a What was the last English rugby side to win the Heineken Cup, doing so in 2004 when they beat Toulouse?
LONDON WASPS
3b What was the first English rugby team to win the Heinkeken Cup, doing so in 1998 when they beat Brive?
BATH
4a Chart-toppers in 1978, which Leicester band included the members Dave Bartram, Buddy Gask, Trevor Oakes, Russ Field and Romeo Challenger?
SHOWADDYWADDY (Under the Moon of Love)
4b At which English theme park will you find rollercoasters called Colossus, X:\No Way Out, Stealth and Nemesis Inferno?
THORPE PARK

Round 4
1a Which commander of the British forces in the Middle East during World War Two led them to victory over the Italians before their defeat by the German army, and was replaced in July 1941?
ARCHIBALD WAVELL
1b Which field marshal replaced Wavell as Commander of British forces in the Middle East in July 1941 and again replaced him as Commander-in-Chief of the Indian Army in 1943?
CLAUDE AUCHINLECK
2a What is the first of the fourteen Stations of the Cross?*
JESUS IS CONDEMNED TO DEATH
2b Which Australian cricketer retired hurt on 165 in the first ever Test match in 1877, thus scoring the first ever Test century?
CHARLES BANNERMAN
3a Which silvery metal has the atomic number 50?*
TIN (Sn)
3b What is the last of the Stations of the Cross?*
JESUS IS LAID IN THE TOMB
4a Which batsman got the first ever Test century for England, when he scored 152 in a Test versus Australia at The Oval in 1880?
WG GRACE
4b Named after a nuclear scientist, which element has the atomic number 100?
FERMIUM

Round 5
1a The NASA scientist Lonnie Johnson is best known for inventing which toy water gun that uses pressurized air to deliver powerful water squirts?
SUPER SOAKER
1b By what name is the airplane with the designation VC-25A better known?*
AIR FORCE ONE
2a Michael Nazir-Ali very recently accused Muslims of double standards. Of which English diocese is he the bishop?
ROCHESTER
2b Lord Richard Harries, the current head of the Government's fertility watchdog, stepped down as the bishop of which English diocese in June this year?
OXFORD
3a What is the two-word name given to the US President's official helicopter?
MARINE ONE
3b In which James Bond film do the Bond girls Dominique "Domino" Derval, Patricia Fearing and Fiona Volpe appear?
THUNDERBALL
4a In which Bond film do the Bond girls Melina Havelock, Bibi Dahl and Lisi von Schalf?*
FOR YOUR EYES ONLY
4b What "Human Transporter" or self-balancing electric transportation device was invented and unveiled by Dean Kamen in December 2001?
SEGWAY PT

Zee Phantom Round 6 Ooh la la
1a Director of Central Intelligence, Robert Gates, is set to take which post in the US government?
SECRETARY OF DEFENCE
1b Which famous doo-wop/R&B band were originally formed by Clyde McPhatter of Billy Ward & The Dominoes in 1953?
THE DRIFTERS
2a Which much-covered hit song by The Drifters from 1964 was recorded the day after lead singer Rudy Lewis's unexpected death?
UNDER THE BOARDWALK
2b Which baggy trews of yesteryear derive their name from a corruption of the old French word for "Greek-style"?
GALLIGASKINS
3a Which much-loved comedy actress played Vera Hopkins on Coronation Street?
KATHY STAFF
3b Set to step down as Secretary of State for Defence, Donald Rumsfeld had assumed the post first during which president's administration?
GERALD FORD
4a Which long coat with a cape is especially suitable for the inclement weather that besieges the same-named Scottish city?
INVERNESS
4b Best known for a comedy role, which actress played Eileen Hughes on Coronation Street?
PRUNELLA SCALES


Round 7
1a Micky Adams is the manager of which Coca-Cola Championship football team?
COVENTRY CITY
1b Which Austrian physicist proposed an eponymous equation in 1925 that describes the space- and time-dependence of quantum mechanical systems?
ERWIN SCHRODINGER
2a What theory in physics, which describes the theory of the fundamental force known as strong interaction, is known by the acronym QCD?
QUANTUM CHROMODYNAMICS
2b In which country is the World Heritage Site of the Great Stupa at Sanchi?*
INDIA
3a On April 12, 1888, who read his own obituary when a French newspaper mistakenly reported his dying when it should have been his brother Ludwig, and saw himself reported as a "merchant of death"?
ALFRED NOBEL
3b Jim Magilton is the manager of which Coca-Cola Championship football team?
IPSWICH TOWN
4a In which country is the World Heritage Site of the Ksar of Ait Benhaddou? Ksar meaning a village consisting of generally attached houses.
MOROCCO
4b Who composed his own obituary for The Times in 1937 - 32 years before his actual death - and wrote of himself: "His life, for all its waywardness, had a certain anachronistic consistency, reminiscent of the aristocratic rebels of the early 19th century ... He was the last survivor of a dead epoch"?*
BERTRAND RUSSELL

Round 8
1a Which English singer-songwriter is at number eight in the current UK album charts with Undiscovered?
JAMES MORRISON
1b Found along the Mekong River in Cambodia and Laos, what sort of creature is a "kouprey"?
(Wild) OX
2a Originally intended to be a digestive tonic, which popular alcoholic drink is named after the 19th century owner of an oyster bar in the City of London?
PIMM'S (as in James Pimm)
2b Where on the human body would you find a "lunnule"?
BASE OF THE FINGERNAIL (white crescent-shaped mark)
3a Found on the island of New Guinea, what sort of creature is the "bondegezou", or as it is also known, the "dingiso"?*
TREE-KANGAROO
3b Sometimes described as "emo", which American rock band is at number two in the UK album charts with The Black Parade?
MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE
4a Where on the human body would you find the "philtrum"?
MIDDLE OF THE UPPER LIP (the vertical groove)
4b Which cocktail is named after a 19th century bartender at Limmer's Old House in London, who was famous for his gin slings?
TOM COLLINS

Spares
1 U2 were partly inspired to write the song Where the Streets Have No Name after visiting which Latin American capital city, where the streets have no name?
MANAGUA
2 In 2004, what became the first private manned spacecraft to exceed an altitude of 328,000 feet twice within 14 days, thus claiming the $10 million Ansari X-Prize?
SPACESHIPONE (SpaceShipOne)
3 Who is known by the acronym FLOTUS?
FIRST LADY OF THE UNITED STATES (of America)
4 When it was first broadcast on the Home Service in the Midlands region in May 1950, what was the full name of The Archers?
THE ARCHERS OF WIMBERTON FARM
5 Which wife of Vernon Kay co-presents Strictly Come Dancing with Bruce Forsyth?
TESS DALEY

(Random annoyance: Blimey, it's still like the Gaza Strip around here. Won't these fireworks lovers do something like let them off in their living rooms. I'm sure it would be just as eventful and exciting.)

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