Wikipedia errata

Slightly self-aggrandising request

I'm assuming that whoever did my Wikipedia Medal Record (which is very nice of you, anonymous table constructor) reads this blog. It is, however, riddled with errors and falsehoods and I am not one to mess around with my own entry. Personal Wikipedia pages belong to everyone, except the person it is about, and granted, any consistent lie-spreading enemies they have. It is my Golden Rule (otherwise, who knows what a stunning biography I could construct, filled with amazing details and eyewitness testimony that might be true.)

So please amend the table in light of the following information:

For a start, I never went to Ghent so was not part of the fine European Nations title-winning effort. That gold therefore shouldn't exist. The same goes for Tallinn. I was part of 'Young England' and didn't get a silver. Do Aspirational Cup medals count? Because that would be a gold for Blackpool 2007, yet I suspect they don't because the word is too long to fit in the space and it has a bit of a UEFA Cup vibe about it. Having said that perhaps, they should make a table appearance because it is no easy task to win it and because it does have a UEFA Cup vibe about it. After all, England B - we so ruled! - got the same engraved silver dishes/platters/plates/shiny flat things as the winners of the Club competition. Which was the Broken Hearts, of course.

Talking of which, with further regards to Blackpool and the Club competition, that bronze should be a Gold (you know, it didn't take too long for Spandau Ballet's 'Gold' to start whirring in my mental jukebox after writing it a few times ... you're indestructible la la la). Because, Gold ahhh! I mean, Hey! How come Bayley gets one I didn't? No fair. Treated like a third-class citizen in my own team!

Then, Bayley gets a Gold for winning the Pairs title at the 2006 IQA British Championships.

Well, if he and Pat gets one, what about my and Gareth's Pairs Gold (2007) and, what I seem to recall, as our Bronze this year? Them's two medals that be missing, or ain't the British Quizzing Championship's Pairs competition what it used to be, back in the glory days of its immediate infancy all those years ago? Back in 2006. When we were so young and carefree. Sigh.

I'm just saying, that's all. Maybe, it has something to do with this grotty headache I've just woken up. I was so confused I thought it was Sunday and I'd completely overslept for the President's Cup match, which instantly sent shivers down my spine and thoughts of at least seven people wanting to kill me with varying degrees of murderous brutality. Then I had a blessed Phileas Fogg moment and realised - sweet jaysus - I should forego the ways of the daysleeper.

Perhaps, I'm also bringing up the medal thing because dozens of people have been trying to 'correct' me, so to speak, on a surprising variety of factual matters these past few weeks, which might have something to do with the onset of November rubbishness and the darkening mood of our nation; let's all have a moan about summat and try to put it right. In my case, some have succeeded, some have failed. Anybody else want to chance their arm? If so, I therefore I decree the Statute of Limitations to be one month. Respect the Law of Me*, I say.

* Thoughts of linking to Cartman saying "respect my authority" being discounted on account of, my word, that is going way back and am I really getting that old?