Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Fourth

Can't Believe It's Wed; Where's Tue?

The holiday was great.

Norway is always good.

Yah, I did the Nobels, the Ships, the Munchs, the Glass Cathedral, which is weird because whenever I say/write down/type up the worthwhile, nourishing things I will do in the near future I do something else instead, like watch Shipwrecked again or engage in some other neuron-razing/rotting activity.

So. Report soon. On cultural things. I did.

If, that is, I get over the weird, aching tight-as-a-drumhead pain that comes like harsh sharp dull waves to grip my right leg and right arm at short intervals. It dominates me. And the fact that certain areas have attained the colouration of some rather livid beetroot. Or at least the said areas also feel so taut that they're as good as bulletproof. That's right. Shoot teflon-tipped steel rounds at my red right limbs. They can take it, I swear. My petrified epidermis is the new Kevlar.

You see The Norwegian Mosquitoes Drank My Blood. They DRANK IT UP! Hhsssrruth-hgggrrrhh-ggggahga-hhlueeeee-uhhhh. Mmmm, a tasty me beverage. Haemoglobin delicious! Platelet-tastic!

Damn Those Norwegian Mosquitoes. Damn them and their vampiric ways.

Under cover of darkness, they came in their legions. Leaving their stagnant fetid lairs in the pine forests, the sable invaders slipped like a ghost of the wind through an opportune fissure in the bedroom windowsill; proboscises poised to pierce; ready for the feast of blood. While I was sleeping. Unconsciouszzzz. Defenceless.

So basically, the f****** bit me all the way to f****** hell and back, and then came the f*** back and f****** bit me a bit f****** more. The f******* f*****! I f****** hate those m************!

Now? Off to bed to nurse my sores and hopefully not scratch the living bejesus out of the suppurating bite* on my right calf muscle, which basically feels like a stegosaurus plate, so hard and bronzed it is with infection. I'm thinking I really should see my doctor tomorrow rather than constantly anoint myself with a dodgy pearl cocktail of Voltarol, Sudocream and Afterbite.

*Mmmm mmmm. Isn't the phraseology just the yummiest?

2 Comments:

Blogger David said...

Get yourself one of these.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Zapper-Click-After-Insect-Remedy/dp/B000KU74K4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=sports&qid=1251298043&sr=8-1

7:48 AM  
Blogger Nilo said...

Hi! My name is Nilo Francisco and I am a Filipino working for a Norwegian shipping company and now on a visit to our head Office in Oslo. I've read about you (Wikipedia entry) and I just started reading your blogs two days ago. I hope you enjoyed the museum visit. I've been to the Munchmuseet and the Nobel Peace Center, too. But that was last year. I get to travel to Oslo once a year.

I am also a quizzer, started back in the late '70s when quiz was a craze in the Philippines. My club also participate in pub quizzes in Manila and I was also sat in the 1st and 2nd Philippine leg of the World Quizzing Championship.

Thanks for the links to quiz-related pages. They are quite handy.

5:59 AM  

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