Saturday, August 12, 2006

I give you the BH86

Sometimes I write about films. No wait, that's rant. Like billy-ho.

(You know you can go straight to the questions and skip this waffle on traditional themes: Michael Mann, Smoking, Mogwai)

So yesterday I went to watch Miami Vice because I had made the baffling vow the previous day that I would not buy the pirate DVD of it for £5 whilst sat outside a Bethnal Green pub no matter how smiley or nice the female Triad vendor was. So, I was a good boy and scootled along to my favourite multiplex. I don't want know FACT coming round my house (anymore).

Now I love Michael Mann's films: their efficiency, their camera adeptness, their lust for style, their attention to all the details that matter; the guns, the way people hold and shoot them them, the rigorous procedures, the deathly cool clothes. And I got what I wanted in terms of visceral gun battles, cool but loaded exchanges, gorgeously empty beachside apartments and wistful meaningful looks into the distance.

*SPOILERS* (like you care)
My main problem, however, was, apart from Colin Farrell's disgusting ratty mullet which looked like it had flayed from a mutated sewer beast, was how lovey dovey and life-affirming and pleasant everything ended up. If these Colombian drug kingpins really "killed everything", why did they just up and disappear and leave a neat sentimental ending behind them, rather than sending in hit squads renowned for their ability to separate limbs from bodies in a truly artistic manner to extract their revenge? Not one of the goodies snuffed it. Even the fat, bald white police guy didn't meet his maker (though I may be mistaken since the climactic gunfight was awfully confusing, dark and loud, and brilliantly so).

Granted one or two were slightly shot up and someone had her spleen split to kingdom come and the earlier scenes were marked by some shocking bloody brutality, but I came away with the vague feeling that MV was one of those vacuous genre pics, where nothing truly matters in the end because the filmmakers were too scared to risk the deaths of their protagonists. You see as an earnest student of film I used to look for evidence of the auteur argument in supposedly genre films from the likes of Nicholas Ray. Now I am looking for shocking banal genre hallmarks in a work by Mann the master stylist since I suspect his grip on the script is either faulty or deliberately half-assed. What is the world coming to?

My point is that lots of characters, sympathetic and unsympathetic died in Heat and Collateral, but here everything settled down into a kind of Bad Boys-like finality, where achingly enticing gangster molls looked back in regret on an escaping boat when you had really expected them to do it from the afterlife. Little things like that soured the overwhelming and pleasing seriousness that had been invested in the rest of the film. If it was all in aid of a possible sequel (which I doubt) and placating idiot audience members, then I will be extremely nonplussed. Non-plussed to the extreme.

Two more things:
1) Aside from John Hawkes having a ciggy at the beginning possibly because he knew he was going to end up as a gruesome splat on the highway at any second and therefore thought "what the hey!", there was no smoking in this film. Its near total absence was plain weird, especially when the expectation of real-life king chainer Colin Farrell popping a cancer stick betwixt his lips every five minutes was never fulfilled. Holy moly, they even went to the world's tobacco-crafting capital Havana and not one single upward flume of smoke could be spotted in any direction. Most perplexing.

Of course, if I wasn't such a regular visitor to Marlboro country and if my middle names were not Smoky Smokerson and if there wasn't a tiny libertarian inside me shouting "Freedom for smokers! Carcinogens rule!" constantly (his name is Doug, by the way), I would care not an iota. However, thinking about it for sometime afterwards has added some weird varnish of unreality to my impressions of the film. That was my only problem, yet it was a crucial, mind-gnawing one at that. As if I was expecting someone to turn around in the final scene and say: "This was all a dream". And I hate it when that happens.

It was very responsible for the filmmakers to prevent gratuitous smoking happening in the film, whether consciously or not, although I read Mann said it was not a deliberate decision and thought it a tad disingenuous. I know we do have to take care of our lungs and young tykes can be very impressionable. The real-life health implications trump any attempts at portraying cinematic cool, (he says patronising even himself).

Now that such a danger has been averted we just have to hope that the youthful masses haven't been seduced by the fetishistic thought of cradling and firing mightily powerful machine guns at everything in sight, or the delightful notion that making millions of dollars by smuggling narcotics looks pretty darned easy and sexy to boot.

2) The end played out to Auto-Rock by Mogwai. This was very weird. Instead of reflecting on the film I was left with curious thoughts of when was the last time I listened to their new album Mr Beast (three months ago) and when the exact date of their Albert Hall gig was in September (still dunno, though I could always look) and how do American movie soundtrack compilers get to find Scottish instrumental rock music (er, great taste? Though the tired presence of Goldfrapp suggests some error in the selection process)? Never mind Colin Farrell furrowing his eyebrows intensely or Jamie the self-proclaimed "Sexalicious" Foxx sitting in a hospital room. Instead my eyes wandered from film's endgame as the mind pondered where Auto Rock stood in Mogwai's canon of piano-led tracks.

Neither was it exactly God Moving Over the Face of the Waters by Moby. Auto-Rock mined mixed thoughts of rainy and oppressive Glasgow streets and memories of Morgan switching on the front-stage lights at their Southampton gig (naughty boy), not quite the epic feelings evoking souls departing from bodies into the night that were conjured with great forensic skill at the end of Heat. This was mainly thanks to the knowledge that it was music made by a bunch of youngish and mouthy Celtic supporters who liked making both pleasant and ferocious noise rather than some enigmatic middle-aged musical genius from the minimalist school. In truth, I think I dislike it when a familiar tune kicks in at the crucial movie climax because instead of associating it solely with the new film you are watching you reach back into your memory and try and wrest it from by now well-bonded associations, to do with gigs and listening to it repeatedly in your bedroom. This time the wresting did not work: all my thoughts remained a 'Gwai-coloured hue.

But good on Mogwai. Along with appearances on the soundtrack to Sex and the City and various BBC TV programme ads, they appear to be the continuing favoured music for people wanting to capture a certain melancholic feeling when films or episodes wrap up and those people reflect like they've never reflected before. After all, to me at least, there's nowt like Mogwai when you are staring into the abyss of the end.

These Questions
I am in a process of cleaning up my notebooks, i.e. fashioning all the random fact-related scribblings that I have collected over the past couple of weeks. Since I marked up 231 niblets for transcription and expansion this may take me some time. This is the first batch I could be bothered to do.

1 Overlooking the Danube, which 17th century fortress in the Serbian city of Novi Sad has hosted the EXIT musical festival been held since 2000?
2 What is the subject matter of paintings or artworks described as "poesie"?
3 Based in Tuscany, what 1860s art movement takes its name from the Italian for "patch", as in "patch of colour"?
4 In former times what process used a wax taper, a roulette and a burnisher used?
5 Painted c.1883-84, whose painting Woman and Child in a Garden features the artist's daughter Julie Manet?
6 As heard in the mangled public utterances of John Prescott and George W Bush, what literary term describes a rhetorical device that can be loosely defined as a change of syntax within a sentence, or more specifically, a change created when a sentence changes from one structure to another?
7 What Turkish dam project is set to engulf the ancient Mesopotamian town of Hasankeyf, with the country's government finding a new consortium to build it after Balfour Beatty pulled out in 2001?
8 What is the scientific study of human movement or the study of the body for the purposes of physical therapy called?
9 In a famous sci-fi film whose ship "landed in Washington today at 3.47pm Eastern Standard Time"?
10 Who would wear a dastaar or a patka?
11 Which New Zealand-born motor racing team founder died when his own CanAm car crashed at the Goodwood Circuit in 1970 aged just 32-years-old?
12 Which Ealing comedy was based on the novel Israel Ranks?
13 Who published the fantasy novel Eragon, now made into a film starring Robert Carlyle, when aged 15?
14 What is the largest national park in Spain called?
15 Doma clasica, identified by its choreography of movements ending in athletic cavorts, and doma vaquera, seen as the activity's form of flamenco, are the two main styles of what in Spain?
16 Johan Lindeberg is a famous for making what?
17 DK Poison and Azumah Nelson are world champion boxers from which country?
18 What Spanish region was named by the Moors, the "gateway to paradise"?
19 Played by norteno and banda groups, the ranchera is a genre of the traditional music of which country?
20 Named after a Spanish city though it does not actually come from there, what is the most popular and simple form of the flamenco dance?
21 Which luxury watchmakers produce the supersize Santos Dumont Chrono watch and its junior partners, the LM and MM models?
22 The Porteous Riots of 1736 heavily feature in the early chapters of which 1818 novel by Sir Walter Scott?
23 Originating from the French word meaning "vat", what French term is used on wine labels to denote wine of a specific blend or batch?
24 Which Scottish artist was famed for paintings with comic subjects like Blind Man's Buff (1813) and Distraining for Rent (1815)?
25 What word was added to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2003 and was defined as "a person who possesses no magical powers. Hence: a person who lacks a particular skill or skills"?
26 What was created after the head of NBC sent the the two-word memorandum "MTV Cops"?
27 With which people is Phagspa script associated?
28 One of Brazil's foremost Tropicalism movement singers and guitar players during the late 60s and 70s, who won her first recording deal in 1963 for her debut album Domingo and played the singer Carmen Miranda in the 1995 film The Mandarin/Mandarim, O?
29 18th Amendment, Citizen of Humanity, Rock 'n' Republic, Sass & Bides, Sevens and True Religion are companies renowned for producing expensive makes of what?
30 First opened in Ishoj in 1974, which Danish furniture superstore chain is owned by Martin Toogood?
31 Called the Festival della canzone italiana, where has the popular Italian song contest been held annually since 1951 and was the inspiration for the Eurovision Song Contest?
32 Which three countries traditionally meet for the Weimar Triangle summits?
33 In The Simpsons, what respectively were Bart's, Lisa's and Maggie's first ever words?
34 Called 'a nice young man, only confused' by Miles Davis, which jazz trumpeter won the 1997 Pulitzer Prize for music with his oratorio Blood on the Fields and has included the songs Skipping, Sophie Rose-Rosalee, You & Me, and Big Fat Hen on recent concert playlists?
35 From the Indian city of Pune, who invented the Pentium processor for Intel?
36 In 2004, which NASA space vehicle froze due to too many files being open in its flash memory?
37 First sold at a retail price of $9,995 in 1982, thousands of which computer were later buried in a landfill in Utah in 1989?
38 Whose "displacement law" was formulated in 1893 and states that there is an inverse relationship between the wavelength of the peak of the emission of a black body and its temperature?
39 Winner of more than 20 professional titles, Jeanette Lee - "the Black Widow", is a famous name in which sport?
40 Who wrote the novel, Brief einer Unbekannten, that was adapted into the 1948 Max Ophuls film Letter From An Unknown Woman?
41 In which Ron Ayers-designed vehicle did RAF pilot Andy Green break the land speed record, reaching 763.035mph in the Black Rock Desert in 1997?
42 Which supercomputer used up 20,000 processor hours to carry out its "shotgun assembly" of the human genome?
43 What poison is derived from the deathcap family of mushrooms and is renowned for causing the destruction of the kidneys and liver over several days?
44 In which country, where over 92 per cent of all over-30s are overweight or obese, has the obesity prevention action plan Project Ma'alahi been launched?
45 The Charles Laughton film The Night of the Hunter is based on a novel by which writer?
46 Which actor lived at his house Malthouses in Ashurst, West Sussex until his death?
47 A periodic conference devoted exclusively to which writer is held in the town of Calw on the edge of the Black Forest, where he was born on July 2, 1877?
48 Framed in quadri riportati and depicting Apollo in his Chariot (Aurora) bringing light to the world, the massive fresco in the ceiling of the large central hall of garden palace, Casino dell'Aurora, located in the grounds of the Palazzo Pallavicini-Rospigliosi on the Quirinal Hill is considered by many to be which Italian painter (1575-1642) of the high-Baroque style's masterpiece?
49 Located in Bologna, which Italian motorcycle manufacturer produced the fastest 250cc road bike available, the Mach 1, in the 1960s and in the 70s began making large-displacement L-twin motorcycles?
50 Named after the German scientist who published it in 1925, what orbital maneuver in astronautics and aerospace engineering, under standard assumption, moves a spacecraft from one circular orbit to another using two engine impulses?

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Answers to BH86
1 Petrovaradin 2 Mythology 3 Macchiaioli 4 Print-making 5 Berthe Morisot 6 An anacoluthon (or pl. anaculothia) 7 Ilisu project 8 Kinesiology 9 Klaatu (played by Michael Rennie) in The Day The Earth Stood Still 10 Sikhs 11 Bruce McLaren 12 Kind Hearts and Coronets 13 Christopher Paolini 14 Parque Natural de Cazorla 15 Horse riding demonstrations 16 Clothes (as in J Lindeberg) 17 Ghana 18 Andalusia 19 Mexico 20 Sevillana 21 Cartier 22 The Heart of Midlothian 23 Cuvee 24 Sir David Wilkie 25 Muggle 26 Miami Vice 27 Mongols 28 Gal Costa 29 Jeans 30 ILVA 31 Sanremo as in Sanremo Music Festival 32 Poland, Germany, France 33 Aye Caramba, Bart, Daddy 34 Wynton Marsalis 35 Vinod Dahm 36 Mars Rover 37 Apple Lisa 38 (Wilhelm) Wien's 39 Billiards 40 Stefan Zweig 41 ThrustSSC 42 Celera Genomics 43 Amatoxin 44 Tonga 45 Davis Grubb 46 Laurence Olivier 47 Herman Hesse 48 Guido Reni 49 Ducati 50 (Walter) Hohmann transfer orbit

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